Monday, September 22, 2008

Rewards & Punishments or Love & Reason - Unconditional Parenting

Most advice for parents begins with the question "How can we get kids to do what they're told?" - and then proceeds to offer various techniques for controlling them. In his landmark book Unconditional Parenting - and in this talk based on that book - Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking "What are our long-term goals for our children?" It follows that we need to work with them rather than doing thing to them, in order to reach those goals.

Kohn argues that punishments (including time-outs) and rewards (including positive reinforcement) may sometimes produce temporary compliance, but they do nothing to help kids grow into responsible, caring, ethical, happy people. Moreover, he suggests that permissiveness is less worrisome than a fear of permissiveness that leads us to over-control our children. Kohn concludes with ten important guidelines to help viewers reconnect to their own best instincts as parents.

This is an incredible book we highly recommend.....

Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason

To your continued growth and journey!

Kytka Hilmar-Jezek
President/CEO
Waldorf Homeschoolers


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